It is Oscar night and I do not have TV. 364 days out of the year I do not mind, but tonight am miserable and would give anything for cable so could watch Joan Rivers special and then savor big event. Ah well...

Just hoping Charlize Theron does not win best actress. Did not see Monster so really have no right to make judgments, but am SO DAMN SICK of toothpick-like models turned actresses receiving awards for gaining 15 pounds and appearing without full makeup, while their less attractive but so much more talented peers are lucky to get a measly tampax commercial. Injustice of entertainment industry is disgusting and makes me have fantasies of shadowing various Hollywood types and sneaking Ensure powder into their vegetables and Nair into their shampoo.

Despite disgust with Hollywood establishment, am vowing to have TV next year so can dress up, drink champagne, and simulate red carpet in hallway. Practicing acceptance speech in mirror seems a lot less silly when surrounded by the proper accoutrements.